whats your fix?

i watched requiem for a dream today and a thought came into my head...we all have a fix..some go to the extreme of substance abuse but think about it..we all have some fix or the other to help us escape what is not okay in our lives. Drugs, porn, food, stress, aggression, marriage, spirituality, travel, money, kids, occupation, music, dance..it can be anything ...reasons are myriad and a lot of them often seem convincing but bottom line is that ALL of us use some or the other "fix" to help us escape. some of the options like marriage and kids seem a perfectly legit way of escaping..but what happens when our marriage doesnt work and our kids grow up and dont need us anymore? our fix is over and we suffer from withdrawal symptoms and in order to overcome the pain we look elsewhere ..for another fix. volunteer l work did I hear anyone say?

the is something in the air...

something...something is always right...even in the most wrongs there is an element of rightness..we can either search for the wrong in the right or the right in the wrong. choice is always ours. always inside us..never outside. I came to the US 3 months back, leaving behind a great life, great career, and some amazing friends...it was all wrong! how can this happen to me? how can something that I built after so many years of struggle and hardships be taken away from me in a plane ride? It was wrong..I thought. I landed in the US bang in the middle of winter, an insanely cold winter, the kind of winter that I had never seen in 33 years of my existance. I was without a job, without my friends and without a purpose..winter seemed more brutal without any purpose. I sat in my small room gazing into the snow..i wish i could say gazing into the sun..but there wasn't any...all I could see was miles of white, snowy, cotton-ny snow..as white as white can be. It was wrong!

but something changed a few days back.....i could now see the right in the wrong..I was "in transit". One experience leading to another one. I was experiencing a new way of life, a new country, new people, new food, new water, new air! that was "the right" I could shed the baggage of judgements and start life in this newness. I shaved my head (something i've always wanted to do but never could) and looked around...the snow didnt seem to be as depressing as it looked earlier. It was beautiful, white and pristine. It was nature's way of cleansing the roads, the tress and giving it  an opportunity of renew itself. I smiled :) I had found the right in the wrong :)

This attitude gave way to several other thoughts, actions leading to beautiful experiences. Through this blog I will attempt to explore them...i will express my fears, thoughts, moments...all "in transit"